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VIII Ethics and the Common Life

4. MARRIAGE

And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make a helpmeet for him. Gen. 2:18.

Here Moses explains God's purpose in creating woman. God wished the earth to be populated by men who would live together and create a society. Some may question whether God's purpose included offspring; for the words say only that since it is not well for a man to be alone, a woman had to be created to be his helpmate. But as I understand it, when God took the first steps towards a human society, he intended the others to follow each in turn. We have then a general principle: man was created to be a social animal. Now since the human race could not exist without woman, no bond whatever in human relations is more sacred than that by which husband and wife unite to become one body and one soul. On this point, nature itself taught Plato and others among the saner philosophers to speak with wisdom.

But although God made the statement that it is not good for man to be alone about Adam, I do not restrict it to his single person. I consider it rather a general rule for human living. Therefore everyone ought to take as a precept directed to himself that solitude is not good -- except for a man whom God exempts as a matter of unusual privilege.

Many think celibacy furthers their plans and refrain from marriage to avoid trouble. But it is not only worldly people who say that, if a man wants to be happy, he should stay away from a wife. Jerome's book against Jovinian is crammed with petulant insults by which he tries to make sacred marriage hateful and to disgrace it. Let men of faith learn to fight the evil suggestions of Satan with this Word of God, by which he decrees married life for man, not for his ruin but for his well-being.

I will make a helpmeet for him. Why is the verb used here not plural, as it was in the account of the creation of man when it said,Let us make? (Gen. 1:26). Some think that the change indicates a difference between the sexes and shows how greatly superior man is to woman. But a different, although not altogether contradictory, interpretation pleases me better. When the human race was created in the person of a man, a dignity common to all humanity was universally conferred with the wordslet us make man. There was no need to repeat this at the creation of a woman, for she was really a supplement to the man. We certainly cannot deny that woman also, perhaps in a secondary way, was created in the image of God. Hence it follows that what was said of man applies equally to woman.

Now when God designates woman as man's helper, he is not giving women a rule to determine their vocation in life by assigning them a special task; he is rather declaring that marriage itself will be man's best help in life. Let us then accept it as a rule of nature that a woman is a man's helper. Of course we know the common proverb that she is a necessary evil, but we ought to listen to the voice of God which asserts that woman was given to man as a companion and partner to help him to live really well.

I confess indeed that in the present corrupt state of the human race, God's blessing as here described is not often seen and amounts to little. But we must keep in mind the reason for this evil. We have perverted the order of nature instituted by God. If man still had today the wholeness which he had in the beginning, God's ordinance would be fulfilled and the sweetest harmony would reign in marriage. For man would look to God; and woman, equally faithful, would be his helper. Being both of one mind, they would cherish an association no less holy than friendly and peaceful. Now because of our own wickedness and corrupt nature such married bliss is for the most part lost or at least is marred by many annoyances. Quarrels arise, and hurt feelings, bitterness, discords, and a great sea of trouble. So it happens that men are often seriously distressed by their wives and think of them as a hindrance.

Yet marriage cannot be so wholly spoiled by man's sin that the blessing with which God hallowed it by his word is entirely abolished and no longer exists. Therefore in spite of the many troubles of married life, which arise from our degenerate nature, there remains a residuum of divine good; in a fire which is almost smothered, some sparks still glow.

From this truth follows another: women should learn their duty, strive by helping their husbands to fulfill God's purpose. And men also ought to consider carefully what they owe in return to half of the human race. A mutual obligation binds both sexes. By God's law woman is given to man as helper, so that he may do his part as the head and leader.

We must observe one more thing. It is not only because of the necessity which we have suffered since Adam's fall that the woman is called man's helper. Even if man had remained obedient and whole, the woman would still have become his helpmate. But now when marriage is also a remedy for lust, we have in it a double gift from God. But the second is incidental.

Because I have known him, therefore he shall teach his sons and his household after him and they will do justice and right judgment. Gen. 8:19. (Calvin's wording.)

He shall teach his sons. This is the second reason why God wished Abraham to share his counsel. He did not reveal it without a purpose. The plain meaning of the verse is that Abraham is told of God's plan because he is to perform the task of a good father and teach his family. So we infer that Abraham was told of Sodom's coming destruction not for his own sake alone, but as a kindness to all his descendants.

Indeed, the scope of God's purpose must be carefully noted. His will, as made known to Abraham, bound all Abraham's descendants. Certainly God does not make his will known to us with the intent that the knowledge of him should perish with us. He requires us to be his witnesses to the next generation so that they in turn may hand on what they have received from us to our remoter descendants. Therefore it is a father's duty to teach his sons what he himself has learned from God. In this way we must propagate God's truth. It was not given us for our private enjoyment; we must mutually strengthen one another according to our calling and our faith.

There is no doubt that the gross ignorance which prevails in the world is the just punishment of men's indolence. For while the greater part of the people shut their eyes to the light shed by heavenly doctrine, many smother it by making no effort to transmit it to their children. God rightly withholds the precious treasures of his Word as punishment for the world's indolence.

We must consider particularly the phraseafter him, which teaches us that God's care is not limited to our own lives. He takes measures to provide that his eternal truth live and flourish after our death and that a holy manner of life continue on earth when we are dead. Hence we also conclude that histories which inspire terror in us are worth knowing, since our carnal confidence needs a sharp stimulus so that we may be stung to fear God.

Let no one imagine that this kind of teaching does not apply to him; for when God mentions the sons of Abraham, he means the whole household of the church. There are perverse and deluded interpreters who insist that if they terrify consciences they repel and discourage faith. However, nothing is more alien to faith than disrespect and sloth; and on the other hand, the teaching which leads men to the fear of God fits most perfectly with the preaching of mercy, for it brings unhappy and hungry men running to Christ.

And they will keep the way of the Lord. With these words Moses shows that the judgment of God is announced not only in order that those who in their stupidity are well satisfied with themselves may be filled with dread, and so be driven to long for the grace of Christ, but also in order that the faithful who are already endowed with fear of God may become more and more practiced in the pursuit of religion. God desires to have Sodom's destruction recounted not only to draw wicked men toward himself by their fear of the same punishment, but also to give to those who have already begun to serve God a better understanding of true obedience. The law contributes not only to the beginning of repentance, but also to our continuing perseverance [in the Christian life].

When Moses addsthat they may do justice and right judgmenthe is describing briefly the way of God which he has already mentioned. Although the definition is not complete, yet he briefly indicates by synecdoche the duties of the second table of the law, and shows us what God especially requires of us. The Scripture often draws a description of a good and godly life from the second table of the law; not that love of neighbor is more important than the service of God, but that men can prove their loyalty to God only by living honestly and doing no injury to their neighbors. By the wordsjusticeandright judgment, he includes the kind of equity which gives to each man his due. If one wants to differentiate between the two words,justiceimplies the honesty and kindness which we practice, when we strive to help our brothers in every way and avoid hurting them in any way by fraud and violence.Right judgmentmeans that we stretch out our hands to the poor and oppressed, that we see and support good causes, that we work hard to keep the weak from being unjustly hurt. These are the lawful tasks with which the Lord orders his own to keep occupied.

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